I haven’t written for weeks now. Not for any particular reason, I have been busy working six days a week but my time away from blogging hasn’t been wasted. I have had a clear head for a long time and it has given me time to reflect on lots of things and work on a few issues that needed attention.
I guess by nature i am not a glass half full person. My glass is more of the smashed into a million pieces than half empty kind and I have been working very hard on focusing on the many things in my life I am thankful for. Trying to be positive when nothing positive happens can be hard yet there are so many positives I was just looking in the wrong places.
I have some wonderful friends who are always there for me if I reach out to them. Some reach out to me if im quiet for a bit just to make sure im alright and I appreciate the effort so much.
I can be guilty of neglecting my friends needs and im working on reconnecting with people and rebuilding relationships with those I feel I have let down over a period of time.
I am trying to be more aware of my faults and feel like I have made massive strides forward in how I view and treat myself in the past few weeks. The smile on my face these days is real though I have come through the worst part of my life and can really see that the corner has been turned.
People will like me and people will hate me and whatever they decide its not going to impact on me anymore. I am a good person and I would be a liar if I said I dont fuck up at times. I am impulsive and have a nasty vicious tongue and instead of taking a deep breath im a 2 minute volcano – this is the area Im working on the most.
I’m in a good place and my recovery has moved on a lot once I cleared my head of negativity. I can live in the past and be unhappy or I can live my life today and see where it takes me. The options are that simple and Im choosing to live it now.
I have seen the confidence returning, the smile natural not forced and I genuinely feel like I am on the verge of something big happening.
Learning to appreciate the great things in your life is a great tool because it shows you’re focusing on the right things.
I am enjoying having people encourage me to write because they enjoy reading my work. I am happy when I feel like I make a difference, and my mood has been very different in the past month.
Garry or moose its great being me again and looking forward to each day. Im tired working so much but Im trying different ways to channel my energy and release negativity and so far its working. I cannot stress enough the importance of an outlet when it comes to good mental health and whilst I may not yet be where I want, I am closer than I was yesterday.
And as for one person in particular…Im ready to take that glint in the eyes and smile on your face when you see me and roll with it.