Sharkmoose

Coming to a cinema near you soon….. ok maybe not but when you take your daughter on a day trip to London Zoo dont tell her that she is in charge and we can do whatever she wants….

This is the result

Had a wonderful day out with my princess today. Although the weather was against us and the last bastard lions and tigers were asleep its about making memories with her.

I’m in a great place, the holiday has changed me and I’m determined to live my life in the present not worrying about the past or the future.

London is a great city and as Londoners we tend to forget the amazing places we have on our doorstep. I used to love just jumping on the central line and heading around the city aimlessly and today was first time in about 2 years I’ve been up there.

The Zoo itself is a good day out if a little expensive but then what attraction in London isnt? Exercise, day out with daughter, sleeping bit cats… What more do i need. Even the double takes and looks of amusement on people’s faces as they saw me walking towards them only made it better.

I intend to take her up there more often show her the palace, museums etc although without the face paint preferably. However Lilybet gets what she wants if it makes the day better for her. Even better if i do it now i dont have to pay for her on the underground 😃

Oh and the paint finally came off after a lot of scrubbing lol

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Life-changing

Truth is I was worried about going abroad on my own. As much as I like my company I much prefer being around others and if you hadnt noticed this about me- being the centre of attention.

This holiday is life changing for me. I can genuinely say there has not been a time in my life when I have felt so relaxed and chilled out.

No one to tell me where to go, what to do or lie to me lol its heaven and I’m certainly going to travel more often on the back of this!

Do I wish I had a special someone here to enjoy this with? Of course but I’m making the most of my life being what it is right now and making memories for me. Who knows whats around the corner. I’m ready to meet someone again and when the times right she will make herself known, until then its my time for making Garry better, and making me a priority.

I’m loving my life right now, loving Majorca and happy!!

Depression and negativity was left at the airport and I won’t be picking that particular baggage up on my return. Instead im gonna work hard and save for my next holiday..

If you’re on facebook head over to my page where im posting live videos and photos. Not even sorry for the amount…

click here to like the page, share it comment and enjoy!

Here are some photos for you. Excuse the fat bloke in the pictures, thats me 😭

And yes, any single ladies out there will be pleased to know im available….

Return of The Jack, Garry’s Back!

Apologies for the lack of visibility on the blog since my last post, rest assured you have missed nothing! I have not even felt able to write anything coherent enough to consider publishing – believe it or not I do have some standards when it comes to hitting the publish button…..

Another month has been and gone and we are now into June. What a month May was for me though, in simple terms the best month I have had for at least the last 10 years perhaps even longer.

One of my targets/goals for 2014 was to create new memories, to make the most of life again and to cherish those friends and family around me that support me so much when times are difficult.

For those wondering who Jack is – he is an old friend of mine who I am happily on better terms with these days. Good Ol’ Jack Daniels…. drinking with great company to enjoy not drinking to forget as I have done in the past.

I am very lucky to have met someone who I spent a big chunk of the past few weeks with, a wonderful, beautiful lady who has put a smile on my face and we have had a great time laughing and sitting up till the early hours just talking nonsense but enjoying each others company and I couldn’t be happier! Lots of drink, lots of smiles, lots of talking and best of all…. no moose to be seen! Its all about Garry which I love! When someone makes so much effort to be around you, then you know you have found someone special.

I feel a sense of responsibility when it comes to anything moose related. It’s nice to be thought highly about because of the real me not the moose.

So to Miss Donut… thank you for being around and here’s to a lot more great times!

That’s not to say I don’t have down days still, or feelings of insecurity but I can count them on one hand over the last few months! I am so much more in control of my depression these days I feel like a kid again. It feels like I have just started to remember Garry properly and I love how it feels.

Days out, nights out, lazy days in pjs till mid afternoon and more memories created in May than in the last few years combined! This is what life is about and I am determined to ensure it carries on this way, regardless of what happens along the way.

Now as June arrives I have to deal with some personal shit from the last year that can finally be consigned to the history books as I move on with my life, I have injections and mri scans to look forward to and then hopefully I can hit the gym again on a regular basis and shed the “winter coat”  that is weighing me down.

It’s not fat honestly its just an extra layer of awesomeness…

fluffy

 

and if all else fails….stick me in front of an ice cream van and I’m a happy chappy..

Thanks to Gary Dart for the flattering image...

Thanks to Gary Dart for the flattering image…

Goodbye Past

I am done with focusing on the past, reliving things and memories that now no longer hold the same special feelings.

From this day on the past is being locked away in a safe and buried in the sand, possibly alongside some heads that are buried there…

Image Credit:  Google

Image Credit: Google

The present is the place that needs my urgent attention so that I can create a different future!

I have too much baggage from the past to carry with me anymore and my shoulders are weary of dragging it around.

Until today when I found the scissors that cut those ties and released me from the shackles!

Image Credit: Google

Image Credit: Google

No more regretting things that I have done, If I offended you, even unintentionally and you are holding that grudge then step aside and move into the past of my life. I don’t want to know anymore.

I don’t want to feel a sense of obligation to making things right, things happen for a reason and this is shaping my new path and new sense of direction and if that makes me unpopular then so be it.

I proved something to myself last night which has had a big impact on me today, all those negative thoughts and feelings that people have projected onto me, and I helpfully glued them on, have been lifted.

I have fucked up a lot over the years but as Bon Jovi once said ” I’ve made mistakes, I’m just a man”

No more will I allow them to hold me back!

People have expectations of me, especially as I have put myself so much out there with this blog, but I cannot live up to everyone’s expectations  and more importantly I have come to realise that my own well being and expectations of myself were being neglected!

I don’t write as much these days because every day is like Groundhog day – the same things happening, the same thoughts and feelings and the same people making me feel like shit!

So what happens now in this all new improved present?

Last night I went out with Paul, an old friend from my school days who I have recently reconnected with, and I am bloody glad I have!

Then I saw a beautiful woman at the pub and spend the rest of the night talking to her. After years of feeling low in confidence and lacking self esteem the old Garry was back. Confident enough that I had something to offer someone in terms of conversation and company. Not having to focus on my issues but to sit back relax and enjoy the time spent with someone who wanted to talk to me, to get to know me and who had a real interest in what we were talking about.

Although now of course I have to sit back and wait for the phone call to come..patience is not something I do well.

But a few hurdles were easily overcome last night, I finally proved to myself that I am ready to move on from the past.

And the future, as well as the present is looking a hell of a lot more rosy than I could have imagined a while ago.

Waving goodbye to the past could be the hardest thing I have had to do, but maybe, just maybe its the best thing too!

Now I want to explore new avenues, new paths and create new memories

Image Credit: Google

Image Credit: Google