I would be interested to hear if people think having depression has changed their life for the better?
We all know about the negatives that come from depression but there are circumstances that can occur as a result of this illness that may have had an unexpected impact in a positive light. Something that may have happened due to your depression that would not have happened otherwise.
Let me explain
Before being diagnosed with depression I was moody, short tempered, closed off from people – especially my wife, unhappy, unwilling to try anything new that was not mafia wars. My days were basically consisting of sitting at the PC playing mafia wars with the occasional human interaction added in (grudgingly) and lets not forget the suicidal feelings as well
I could barely face up to my own problems let alone think about other peoples. The idea of making myself available to others as a person people could look up to and ask advice from was a million miles from being possible.
I did not really have an idea that I was even depressed, I was aware of some of the symptoms from dealing my Uncle but never took a real hard look at myself and saw the signs until it was almost too late.
I guess the biggest relief for me when the Dr told me I had depression because then I had a reason for my strange behaviour and change in personality. I remember leaving the Drs with a huge weight having been lifted after the appointment and this is why, for me, I find it so important to encourage people to see their Dr and get diagnosed. There is nothing worse than thinking there is something wrong with you but not knowing what it is!
To carry on with my explanation.
Without having depression I would never even considered writing a blog let alone books. The only thing in my BD (before depression) days I would have known to write about would have how to play mafia wars, or how to make money from mafia wars (I once had an online store where I sold weapons, accounts and other items to the tune of $1000 a month!) but now I spend my time researching depression, writing and even trying to be a fund raiser for charity with the poetry book.
This all from a purely about me standpoint if I look at my relationship with Sheryl I would say having depression has helped that blossom as well because she now knows why I was so moody, always so tired etc.
I am blessed to be married to such a wonderful woman, who shows understanding above and beyond expectations. Our marriage has never been better because I took the steps to get help rather than just continuing to deny I needed help. There are days when there is a strain because of my need to sleep when exhausted but she never complains and accepts me as I am these days. She is my best friend and I can talk to her about anything these days knowing she will give me unconditional love and support. The power of talking to your loved one cannot be underestimated especially with something like depression.
I am very fortunate to have her in my life especially as my immediate family are so selfish they don’t ever contact me, in fact in a recent discussion with Sheryl I told her that if anything happened to me that she was not to let them know because they play no part in my life. They would not know if I was dead or alive because unless I initiate contact with them I never hear from them. I do not have people like that in my life.
I feel sorry for Brandon and Elizabeth because they have no relationship with their grandparents, uncles and aunty from side of the family but it is not them missing out. Hell my family did not even congratulate me on writing a book when I told them about it.
Hmmm I seem to have gone off point again…
So as I was (attempting) to say I can look back at the last 6 months since officially being diagnosed as the most productive in my life. Without suffering from depression I would not be a blogger, an author, a confidante to others and for that I can say I am grateful that depression, and my fight against it, has helped to mold me into the depressed moose I am today.
What good has happened to you?