Reasons to be cheerful. The kiddies..

Rather than focus on the darkness I thought now would be a good time to look at things that make me happy, make me smile and are a wonderful addition to my life.

Ladies and gentlemen I give you..

Brandon and Elizabeth A.k.a Lilybet

Two wonderful children who are blindly loyal to Daddy even when he is a bit shit and not as good as he should be.

And my favourite ones when the 3 of us are together. The photos below are 2 years apart
I cannot wait to get out of lockdown and see baby moose and little moose for a carvery. Love you both.


Coming to a cinema near you soon….. ok maybe not but when you take your daughter on a day trip to London Zoo dont tell her that she is in charge and we can do whatever she wants….

This is the result

Had a wonderful day out with my princess today. Although the weather was against us and the last bastard lions and tigers were asleep its about making memories with her.

I’m in a great place, the holiday has changed me and I’m determined to live my life in the present not worrying about the past or the future.

London is a great city and as Londoners we tend to forget the amazing places we have on our doorstep. I used to love just jumping on the central line and heading around the city aimlessly and today was first time in about 2 years I’ve been up there.

The Zoo itself is a good day out if a little expensive but then what attraction in London isnt? Exercise, day out with daughter, sleeping bit cats… What more do i need. Even the double takes and looks of amusement on people’s faces as they saw me walking towards them only made it better.

I intend to take her up there more often show her the palace, museums etc although without the face paint preferably. However Lilybet gets what she wants if it makes the day better for her. Even better if i do it now i dont have to pay for her on the underground ūüėÉ

Oh and the paint finally came off after a lot of scrubbing lol

Making the Moose Out of Life

Dodgy pun aside the past few days have been wonderful as Lilybet has been staying with me since Wednesday evening and life is great. Having Brandon and Elizabeth with me really does a wonderful job of filling the void and I have loved every second of them both being here.

Brandon has been amazing the past few weeks, at 13 he has really shown a great deal of maturity in a difficult situation for the both of us, and assuming I can manage the finances I am treating him to a holiday next month as we have never had one together, donations are welcome LOL

Lilybet and I have been working on Operation Decoration and have a great time decorating the front room of the flat into a nice bright colour from the darker one previously, the front room looks bright and welcoming again to reflect my new state of mind and despite half the carpet now being a different colour the place is looking great! I have been impressed with  myself in terms of becoming domoosticated (domesticated) and keeping the flat clean and tidy.


I even managed to put her hair into ponytail LOL

I even managed to put her hair into ponytail LOL


Besides a little wobble on Saturday evening I am still maintaining my good mental health and have even started the decrease in medication this week without any problems! Wobbles are allowed, and I wont be too harsh on myself when they come because my wobbles these days last hours as opposed to days/weeks!

For an ugly bloke I have great looking kids :D

For an ugly bloke I have great looking kids ūüėÄ

Its amoosing (amusing) to me how I could be so content with my kids around me when my world is upside down currently but they give me the strength to continue this path to recovery safe in the knowledge that “I love you Dad” is never far away, and what man doesn’t want to be told that!!

The good thing about having Lily for a few days is that it allows Sheryl time for a complete break as well and I hope she has had a good time, because I have had an amazing time and have been practicing my “crazy faces” with Lilybet as seen below, you all know by now I have no shame when it comes to photos but lately I couldn’t care less what anyone thinks because the man I see in the mirror now is someone I love and like after a long battle!

"crazy faces"

“crazy faces”


I have no idea whats around the corner right now, but frankly I don’t care because I can handle it all as long as my children love me.

Life is great and I love it!

Twinkle Twinkle

The ever shy Lilybet found the flip camcorder again and was very kind to allow me to film her again.

This time she is singing so you are very honoured to hear her!

She also appears to be suffering from too much energy as she is bouncing off the walls tonight LOL


Somewhere out there is an advertising company looking for a cute kid to be part of a commercial! well look no further!


No Love like a Daughters Love

I am very lucky to have wonderful children and they certainly help me in my recovery –¬†especially my daughter “Lilybet” who at the age of 3 has Daddy well and truly wrapped around her little finger!

The poor thing is desperate for dance classes which are well out of our budget but she happily dances away and likes to show of her ballet skills – mainly taught to her by Angelina Ballerina and not her twinkled toed father!

With that in mind once she found our mini camcorder today she insisted that I interview her whilst she showed off her ballet, naturally in her outfit! a girl’s gotta look the part after all!

and here it is for you to enjoy


oh and btw this was not scripted she came out with this all herself!

and for those who really wanna see the moose in a tutu


Lilybet the Therapist


The amazing picture above was done by Lilybet at nursery today.

Everyday she comes home with a painting for Daddy but today’s painting was more special than the others.

When Sheryl asked her what it was my 3 year old princess replied “it is for Daddy to look at when he is moody!”

She is such a daddies girl its a beautiful thing! She always looks after me.

One day I asked her why she looks after me so much and she said “because I don’t want you to fall apart as I don’t want a new daddy!”

Life is good when Queen Lilybet is looking out for her daddy!

Would it be wrong to exploit her and sell her work on ebay? ūüôā

Shamed by a 3 Year Old

As we all know Manflu is one of the most serious conditions out there with no known cure and that moose suffer from it terribly.

Day 4 of the illness and I have bravely pulled myself off my death bed to update you as to my well being.

This morning I woke up at 7.30am having finally gone to sleep at 5am!

Not content with being bunged up with a sore throat and a stinking headache i woke up with the worst pain in my bad knee since i had the operation in 2009 and could barely walk. Then I started the coughing which is never a good thing when you have the bowel problems i have! In fact at point I have to go and sit on the toilet to cough!

If a vet came to check on this moose he would be putting me down!

Remember to pray for moose!

Meanwhile Lilybet who is even worse than me is really trying to put on a brave face and show of things. Even while she was being sick she was smiling away and even tried running around like a normal 3 year old despite a temperature, really bad cough and blocked nose!

So you would expect the moose to be ashamed of his wallowing in self pity and dying on the sofa wouldn’t you!

But you would be wrong it’s all about me <evil laughter> pray for moose folks I need you!

sniff sniff cough cough woe me woe me etc etc

Lilybet Looks Like?

need help here please above are 2 photos of the beautiful Lilybet one with her ugly dad and one with her beautiful mum.

Who does she look like the most?

people say she looks like me (heaven help her!)

what do you think?

doesn’t matter either way just curious to see what others think

Story of The Depressed Moose – A Children’s book

A while back I did a little photo strip story based on a day in my life with depression, see here to remind yourself of it.

I had a few people suggest I try writing a¬†children s¬†book back on that post so here is my attempt at a little children’s book for you to enjoy.

This is the story of a little moose.

The moose was popular with lots of friends all happy to play with him.

Moose with all his friends

Over time though his friends noticed that he was different. He was always unhappy and sad. His friends stopped playing with him and the poor moose was left all alone.

Friends of the moose

The poor little moose had to watch from the side as his friends all played without him.

Moose being left out by his friends

This made the moose even more sad, he started to hide away from everyone so they could not see how unhappy he was.

Moose hiding in his tent

On good days he would try really hard to make an appearance.

Scared Moose trying to leave home

He would sit at the window sadly watching the world outside, wishing he could be outside again.

Moose looking at his friends playing outside

One day he spotted a little girl playing outside and she looked up at the sad little moose and wanted to play with him.

The little girl was pleased to see the moose

She tried to encourage him to come outside, that there was nothing to be afraid off. The moose was scared especially when he came across a stranger.

The stranger was not sure of the moose. He took an instant dislike to him because he was different.

The stranger wanted to harm the poor little moose.

Luckily for moose the little girl came to his rescue and saved the day. She took him home and patched up his injuries.

Bruised and battered little moose

She took great care of him checking to make sure he was OK

Nursing the moose back to full health

Everyday she made sure he had his dinner ready

yummy dinner time!

and she loved sitting down with him to enjoy a nice cup of tea.

a cuppa to cheer the moose up!

They did everything together, The girl did not mind that he was unhappy and sad at times. She tried lots of things to make him happier. She read him books…

Reading to the moose

They went on bike rides together

Getting ready for a nice bike ride together

But best of all, what the moose loved the most was when the two best friends would just sit down together and enjoy a cuddle!

cuddles were the best thing ever for the moose!

In fact because the little girl showed so much love to the moose he was even able to make a new friend

The moose and his new friend

The moral of this story? If you know someone who is sad and unhappy why not try and make them happy with your friendship!

Big thanks to the camera shy (yeah right!!!) Lilybet for kindly agreeing (cried until i agreed) to have her photo taken.

Things To Cheer Me (And You) Up!


Queen Lilybet practicing her “crazy face”

I feel like screaming “ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” from the window tonight so to cheer me up I have a treat for you.

This is my daughter Elizabeth AKA Lilybet, she is not very camera shy and often likes us to take her photo while she experiments with different facial expressions. She is only 3 and already been photographed more than Angelina Jolie!

What I love about children of this age is the expressions they come out with and things they do that just put a smile on your face so I wanted to share some of them with you!

  • (on finding Mummy and Daddy having a “quiet time” moment, we thought she was asleep and didnt hear her….)”daddy why are you stuck in Mummy?”
  • (on finding Daddy eating an ice cream)”wait a second, you have ice cream! let me sit on your lap and we can share”
  • (after sharing said ice cream)”you have one lick and I will eat the rest”
  • (after seeing my steak and chips on the table)”lets sit together so I can eat your dinner!”
  • (after trying some of my steak)”this is scrumptious!”
  • (after I fell about laughing at something she said, she folded her arms gave me her “angry face” and said)”I TOLD YOU NOT TO LAUGH AT ME!”
  • (on being asked to choose a name for our new kitten)” we can call her CAT!”
  • (on seeing me browsing the Toysrus website for a pink slide for her birthday)”ooohhh, pink slide, my favourite colour, I MUST HAVE IT!”
  • (after I came home from hospital after my vasectomy, she gave me a hug and said)”my hugs make you feel better and your hugs make me feel better!”
  • (after seeing my shorts had slipped a bit at the back)”ewwww I can see your bum cracker!”
  • (after I told she couldn’t eat her dinner in bed as she makes too much mess)”I have an idea Daddy, why don’t you put a towel down so I don’t make any mess”
  • (after being told that I¬†don’t¬†want to play “hide and seek””ok you count and I will hide”
  • (after being told I¬†don’t¬†want to play catch)”OK you just throw the ball to me and I will catch it”

This is the story of how we ended up getting a cat. Every day when she woke up the first thing she would say is “can I have a kitten pleaseeeeee”. This went on for weeks until one afternoon she woke up and went searching for something in the flat. Sheryl and I both asked what she was looking for and she replied “I can’t find my kitten” So naturally Daddy gave in to his princess! I have noticed she keeps mentioning a puppy lately and I think I am being played….

She has also now learnt to open a new tab on Google chrome and click Netflix on the favourites and starts watching her programs on the pc!

Now everytime I leave my pc desk she asks to watch netflix!

She also LOVED playing on the Wii especially Just Dance games so here is a treat for you and if this doesnt make you smile then your either dead or have no heart!

Somewhere is a video clip of me dancing on the Wii without knowing my lovely wife was filming it, I MAY add it on to a blog post one day depending on the number of requests I get to view it…….