This has been in my drafts file for a while, not indicative of how I feel or felt at the time.
No suicidal thoughts here before anyone starts to panic, but when the creative juices flow I just let it out.
This is one of many drafts that I will be posting in the coming days.
If anyone has any suicidal thoughts or any issues with suicide I would suggest not reading this
I left the house with many bad thoughts running through my brain,
My tears falling down my face like the heaviest of rain.
Alone and scared I made my way to the pre-selected place,
The time had come to stop wearing that fake smile upon my face.
The light was staring right at me,
I knew the time was right,
Once last look at the world I knew,
On this, my final night.
On to the track I hurled myself,
As the train came roaring past,
The pain would soon be over,
the next breath would be my last.
I missed the train and landed on the track the other side,
Cursing my luck I sat on the verge and openly I cried.
But there was another way, and other things to try.
I wandered to my next location with a grimace and a sigh.
The cars were racing down below me,
I wouldn’t feel a thing,
Released myself from the bridge over them,
and see what the landing would bring.
As my luck would have it,
I landed just behind a passing lorry,
It seems I couldn’t time it right,
Another reason to be sorry.
Drowning would be the best idea,
because I’m not a swimmer,
I threw myself in to the sea,
Hoping to be the fishes dinner.
Alas a passing fisherman saw me in me mid flight,
He dragged me from the water and pulled me up into the light,
He spoke to me with kindly words, tried his best to make me alright.
This was not my real destiny, I had to start to fight.
Back home I sat all alone,
The darkness my only friend.
Until I saw all the missed calls, and messages on my phone,
This was not the way for it to end.
The more I thought, the more I felt relieve,
that I held on a little longer,
It only goes to show,
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger