One year on

Today marks a year since my world fell apart and I was hurt like never before. I could have broke down, I could have spiralled into a depression, I could have gone off the rails and I could have wasted 12 months feeling hurt, bitter, angry and sorry for myself…

Except I haven’t done any of those things…

I’ve just had the most productive 12 months of my life in terms of personal growth, development and re-educating myself on the great person I am.

I’ve rediscovered old friendships, rebuilt broken ones, made new ones and basically had a fucking ball as often as I wanted to.

Im living life my way, not being told how to do it, free from shackles, chains, gaslighting, abuse, lies and pretty much drama free and frankly the shit I went through needs to be thanked for making me the way I am today.

Do I get the odd bad days/weeks? Of course I do but the difference now is that I’m allowed to have them and ride them out in my own way.

I’m still doing this 6 week challenge and I’ve lost 14 lbs. Not as much as I’d like BUT, im happy with it as the 6 weeks comes to a close. I had to miss 3 sessions because of the black dog and took my eyes of the prize for a week or so. That’s my responsibilty…That’s on me.

This challenge has been amazing for me. It has given me a new direction, a new outlet, a new group of friends and today im loving life. I’ve even signed up to continue after the 6 weeks is over. Exercise classes 3 times a week minimum, healthier eating choices and a group of men who just encourage each other to keep going.

I will write more on the wonders of 30+ mens fitness in a seperate post over the weekend but suffice to say its been a great impulse decision…

And it’s rare my impulse decisions work out for the best…

I can look back on the last 12 months with a victorious smile

  • Holiday to Majorca
  • Reopening this blog
  • Working every shift with not one day sickness, no matter how black the clouds were
  • Losing a stone in weight…so far (More to come watch this space)
  • Finding Garry again
  • Learning to love myself again
  • Being a part of a great group of people
  • Remembering my blessings in life, friends, family etc

You tried to break me, you made me stronger, you made me become a better me again.

So for this reason I thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart because there’s one thing that will result from this last year and that is I will never again find myself feeling unloved, unwanted, unhappy again.

AND THATS HOW WINNING IS DONE!!!

And just like that….gone forever. No more bad memories, no more hating myself.

The 12 months is now all about the amazing memories I’ve made on my own terms and the future is looking fantastic.

And this time last year i couldn’t have dreamed being able to write something so positive now.

Don’t give up on yourself….

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About the Moose

As I have more new followers I thought maybe it would be good to tell you more about me. Even as a reintroduction to my old followers and update you on the man behind the moose.

In 2012 I was diagnosed with “high intensity depression” this set me on the path of blogging as I wanted to share my story to help others (men in particular, who are not as open about mental health).

I live in East London, England and manage a post office in Essex.

I’m 39 years old and in November will turn 40, frankly I will be glad to see the back of my 30s as for the most part they have been fucking awful.

I have two wonderful kids Brandon is 18 now and just got into Brunel university, lilybet is 9 and is just a sweetheart.

Since I started this journey i have been married, divorced, engaged and now I’m single and rebuilding. My hearts fragile and stupid but its part of my charm that I love too much and too easily (maybe?)

I have a wonderful group of friends, Karl Amy, Debbie, Mary, Antonella and Ali who no matter what have always been there for me. As well as many others who I can count on when needed and for these people im very fortunate to have in my life. Even if I drive them mad by not listening at times.

Despite suffering from depression, homeless periods and low self esteem I have managed to be a person who I hope people know they can come to for help, advice, a place to vent and general amoosement (amusement! See what I did there)

I smoke too much, I eat too much, I weigh too much and have more chins than I would like….

I love people, being around others. I feed off other peoples company and like being the centre of attention.

Im determined to make this blog as successful as it was in its prime 5 years ago. I like sharing my stories with people. I chose not to be anonymous (anonymoose) when I started so that people could put a face to the blogs and as a result have made many new friends from all over the world.

I have 3 books on Amazon. Available in paperback and kindle formats. These are the proudest achievements of my life besides my awesome kids. I’ve sold about 1000 books!! Mainly to myself but still..

I’m a survivor. I’ve been at rock bottom attempted an overdose and come through it. If i can…you can

Im happy. Genuinely happy. Despite the shit I’ve been through i have reached a point in my life where I enjoy my own company and have everything I need right now.

I also run a successful escort service where im available for hours nights weeks and long haul cruises and holidays….. I mean this may not be true but putting it out there just in case there is a market for it

Oh and I happen to think im very funny. My colleagues at work may be sick of hearing the same jokes multiple times a day but i still giggle like a child everytime.

So there you have it. An update on Garry Aka Moose. 39 single and remembering all the good I offer, whilst ignoring the bad…