The Changing Moose

Seems my new look, as it were, has had quite the impact. I’ve had lots of people notice the difference and more compliments in past few days than in the past few years!.

It’s been very good for the ego let me tell you! Sure im still a fat bastard but nowhere near as bad as I thought. And im certainly feeling a lot better in myself being told how much younger i look without the facial hair and stuff.

I have heard the following quote many times and always kind of dismissed it as rubbish but its very true.

I am so damn hard on myself that I forget the good things about me. Too busy listening to the opinion of others who dont know the real me and more worried about their feelings than recognising the fact that actually im fucking awesome. Judge me on how i am with you and how i treat you not anything else. I’m loyal great fun to be around and ultimately having me in your life as a friend means you’re bloody lucky…. did I mention im humble and modest too?

I’m listening to music a lot lately and one favourite song keeps coming into my head from nowhere…

I do need you now, I do think about you a lot and have great memories of you. So im going back, knowing the risks and the potential consequences. So I’m restarting a relationship again with my eyes wide open and im looking forward to it…..

I’ve missed you Jack. Cheers!!! Down the pub I go.

And as for attracting what I am…

I want greatness I want love and so help me God I will get it.

As the song goes…
It’s a new dawn
It’s a new day
It’s a new life
For me
And I’m feeling good
I’m feeling good

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Pearls of Wisdom from DWP

I had an early night last night. Went to bed at 10 to watch The Godfather part 2 and fell asleep not long after and before I knew it I was awake at the crack of a sparrows fart!

Sometimes I enjoy waking up and watching the night turn into day, especially if there is a nice sunrise – I find it kind of symbolic in a “it’s a new dawn” kind of way.

The past few days since my last post have been pretty great. I seem to have a new found confidence and feeling of optimism that has been missing for a long time and I wake up each morning looking forward to the day as opposed to waking up tired and miserable. I must admit I like the way I am feeling at the moment and just up it lasts!

Yesterday I received a letter from the Department of Work and Pensions (DWP) with an update on the housing benefit changes that will soon come into force. Not only did they bring me the good news that they estimate I will have to find £50 a week to cover the rent but they also came up with some rather helpful suggestions for dealing with the decrease in housing benefit.

  1. Ask your landlord for a reduction in the cost of your rent!
  2. move into cheaper accommodation
  3. get a job and claim working tax credit

speechless? yes I was too when I read this. I can just imagine the laughter from landlords up and down the country as millions of people now ring them up and ask for cheaper rent! naturally they are all going to say yes and make the rent cheaper for us.

Here is an example of what will happen:

me: Hi Home group the DWP suggested I should ring you and request you decrease my rent as my housing benefit is no longer covering the full amount.

home: HA HA HA HA tell the DWP to go fuck themselves with that suggestion!

or words to that affect.

me: Hi Redbridge council, the DWP suggest I should move into cheaper accommodation

Redbridge: what? your already over occupied in your tiny flat as it is so there is no way we can move you into anything smaller and therefor cheaper. Besides your on the waiting list for a BIGGER property. Tell the DWP to go fuck themselves with that suggestion.

you get the drift.

It must be nice to live in the same world as government officials and agencies where no doubt unicorns fart rainbows and Iain Dickhead Smith is considered as a thoroughly nice man!

Add to this the new council tax bill that has been received and it all seems like the government is working hard to piss me off at the moment, but they won’t bring me down.

Yesterday I even went and joined the gym across the road from my flat. The exercise on referral scheme has inspired me to get back on track with losing weight. I was measure across my stomach and it was a staggering 46 inches! I need to do something about this. When I was asked what my goals were for the exercise scheme my reply was “to see my penis when I look down!” somewhat tongue in cheek but would be nice to actually feel confident about how I look for a change.

Now I just need to get my ass into the gym especially as my 10k run is 2 months away!

Speaking of my 10k run on 27th May who is coming to meet me at the finish line? Would be great to have some people cheering me on (or carrying the stretcher) especially if you all bring a big mac each cos I will need to eat something 😀

What I see Part 2

 

I have been asked to write a poem,

with much less negativity.

A chance to be more appreciative

About the good things in me.

 

I’m 16 stone of love machine

A sex god if you will,

And all achieved without the need,

for a magic blue pill!

 

with charm, charisma and wonderful humour,

I should be on the tele,

I could be the new Keith Lemon,

with less ginger and more belly.

 

A big strong heart and caring nature,

A moose just like no other,

But the sun would have a field day,

with stories sold by my evil twin brother! (sorry David)

 

I can laugh at my misfortune,

I don’t take myself too seriously,

I’d make a great presenter,

And pronounce all my letter unlike “wossy”

 

People open up to me,

They feel I’m someone they can trust,

But don’t leave me near your pizzas,

I’d eat it all and leave the crust!

 

Strong minded but gentle,

wise beyond my years.

I will hold your hand and guide you

As you take on your fears!

 

My strength comes from helping others,

seeing the victories they make.

No victory to small, no challenge we cant face,

I will be there every step of the way with dignity and grace.

 

A message of encouragement,

A simple “are you Okay?”

Knowing someone has your back

Makes such a difference to your day.

 

I’m that person, the one on who you can rely,

Celebrating your successes, or listening while you cry.

You can talk to me about any issues,

I will be here handing out the tissues.

 

If I look real hard I can see,

There are some real good qualities in me!

It is thanks to some good people out there,

To remind me to treat myself with more care.

 

So one day when your watching TV,

You just might find a moose,

fingers crossed its not crimewatch,

being caught doing things with a goose!

 

I will be famoose one day,

Just you wait and see,

a brand new television show

entitled “The Moose and Me”

 

I’d go around the country,

helping others with their woes,

overcoming life real troubles,

it would be a series of uplifting shows!

 

Behind the lack of confidence,

is a man with quite a big dream,

famous for helping other people,

how ridiculous does that seem?

 

But that is how I see myself,

someone to help the masses.

Putting myself in the public eye,

so we can kick some collective asses!

 

A man who is open and honest,

sharing his experiences with nowhere to hide.

Fuck this negative crap,

I should be full of pride!

 

I have a great sense of humour,

I think I am rather witty.

No more being hard on myself,

and making myself feel shitty!

 

I’m gonna focus on the good things,

The qualities that you seem to like,

from this moment on,

Negativity can take a hike!!!

 

 

Thanks to Barry for encouraging me to try this!

MARvelous aCHievements (March)

Right here we go! time to stop focusing on the negatives and start banging our own drums and trumpets!

In my infinite wisdom I have declared March to be the month to celebrate our MARvelous aCHievements (see what I did there? genius I tells ya!!)

Time to focus on anything we have achieved in the past – there is nothing too small that we can celebrate. The small things soon snowball into something bigger, yet without that first small success nothing would have happened!

So who is with me on this? lets all talk about our wonderful successes and kick negativity into touch for a while!

To get the ball rolling let me refer you to this time last year…

March 2012 was the month that I was ready to end it all! Window was opened and my feet were on the sill ready to jump.

This post here will remind you of my darkest hour My Point of no return

and now look at me 12 months on

  • I write a blog aimed at helping others
  • I have self published 3 books that have sales in 3 figures
  • People come to me looking for support and guidance
  • over 40 thousand people have read my blog!
  • I have made more new friends this past 12 months than at any time in my life!

thats five things to celebrate and feel proud about! I bet you can come up with some for yourself as well!

how about sharing them on twitter with us all using #MooseMarch and lets have some fun with feeling good about ourselves for a change!