Back to the Drs

6 years later and here I sit in the waiting room at the Drs ready to ask for some help again. This time I have not met this particular GP so have no bond or relationship with him or her.

It’s all getting too much, the insomnia, the self doubt, the feelings of hurting, emotions getting best of me. So here I go again albeit in a much better position than all those years again. The last 12 months really have taken their toll on my mental health and maybe I’m guilty of trying too hard, too long and bottling up my feelings about what I’ve been through.

I have my holiday next week to look forward to, so this visit to Drs and probably prescription of antidepressants will come in the nick of time. I need to get away from reality for a bit and thats why I’m jumping on a plane and (hopefully) leaving all this shit behind me.

I’m sick of feeling unloveable, second best and unwanted. I am worthy of more and I am determined that this will be a temporary solution just to allow me to get my head in a better place.

I can’t and won’t allow anyone to send me back to my darkest days but right now I’m just to exhausted to do it by myself.

As I have said countless times…. asking for help in a sign of strength not weakness.

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Moose Kicking Ass

Has anyone seen my depression? It seems to have taken a bit of an ass kicking the past week and has (temporarily) done a runner!

My PHQ9 score has gone under 10 for the first time ever since I started doing the form to monitor my depression.

It has been as high as high twenties and today when I did the questionnaire I was at 9!!

This week started out on Sunday with my day out to meet friends in London and I have even been out visiting relatives yesterday and today, and despite a few near misses with the IBS it has been a bloody good week!

There is something to be said for actually forcing yourself out and about and looking at a different environment instead of the same four walls everyday.

I am recommending it to you all as of now! get out of the house and have a day out!