Today after 4 days of trying last week I finally managed to get through to the mental health team at Goodmayes (the specialist mental health hospital in my area) and spoke to someone.
This is a big step for me because I am worried about what they will say or diagnose.
I have an appointment, or initial screening, to use their vernacular*
Hopefully though they will tell me if I am bipolar or not as my Dr thinks I may be, and so do I having researched it.
My stomach was in knots talking to them over the phone, I don’t understand where this anxiety when talking to people in authority comes from. If I speak to anyone who works for government agencies or health positions I have such an overwhelming sense of fear in my stomach! It baffles me as I never used to have this problem! It has only been in the last 5 or 6 months this anxiety has developed.
Could it be that it was always there and I just did not recognise the signs?
My appointment is on 4th October so not too long to worry about any implications and I am working hard at trying to combat the fear of leaving home to attend these meetings.
Still on the positive side I made the call and that’s a good thing!
* I have always wanted to use the word vernacular in a sentence 😀