Moosey on Holiday


Moose and his twin brother

It feels so good being away from reality and my crappy life inside the four walls of misery, or home as it’s more commonly known. Being surrounded by family is awesome, having people to talk to or simply just laugh at is good for the soul and reminds me how much of a people person I am!


is it a bird? a plane? no it’s supermoose

It’s also a good reminder to me of how far I have come over the past few months, going from being a recluse to surrounding myself with great company as well as bonding with my brother and his wife, both have been a tower of strength for me recently and I’m so pleased I have come down.


Debbie my sister-in-law

Although I feel bad that this is the first time I have been to visit them for 12 years!! still good things come to those who wait 😀


treating myself to a new top and feeling guilty in the process!

Hell I even treated myself to some new clothes yesterday, once I got over the guilty feeling of spending money on me for a change! oh and did I mention how good I am looking lately?


not many people can carry off a hat like this – myself included 🙂

The hat above was from the poundstore but you will be pleased to know I didn’t buy it – I just walked around the store wearing it 😀


Sandown Beach

Beautiful beach – the isle of wight has some amazing views, the landscape is amazing! Hopefully I will remember to take my camera out with me and get some photos at some point.


had to be done…

no British holiday is complete without these sort of photos taken on the pier


my figure before all the weight loss

told you i lost lots of weight, now im on the beach in a thong (photos available on request LOL)


on the ferry

So here I am having a great time, relaxing (as much as my brain lets me) and trying to focus on clearing my head of the stresses of life – to a point its working because when you have people around you who love you it makes things that much easier!

Nothing To Say


There really is nothing to say, things are good and my recovery continues.

The problem is each day repeating the one previous and losing track of the days because they are all the same.

The medication decrease is working fine and so is the therapy that I waited so long for, despite the emotional turmoil each session brings, but I am gaining more knowledge about the why’s and how’s of certain issues and this is very positive for when in terms of the blame game. Now at least I am learning that there are things beyond my control that will happen and to try and just roll with the punches as and when they arrive, rather than accepting the right and left hooks straight to the head!

Holiday time is almost here and in 2 days I will be just arriving on the Isle of Wight, I chose Friday as the day to go away as it is my wedding anniversary and thought it would be the perfect day to escape for a while, to be somewhere other than indoors on what should be a special day for me.

Luckily I will be around family in the shape of David, his wife Debbie, my nephew Jacob, and of course Brandon who is coming for our first proper holiday together.

All I need now is that change of luck/fortune to take the next step into moving forward with my life and leaving the hell of June and July behind me.

They say fortune favours the brave and I have certainly been that over the past few months…..

Keep On Keeping On

To coin a phrase the wonderful weegee likes to throw at me now and again….

Haven’t written for a few days and feel I should update you as to whats been happening in terms of depression and life for me the past week.

I can say quite openly and confidently that I am no longer depressed – yes you read that correctly!

What I am suffering now is the loneliness of being on my own, having no kids here bar the odd day here and there I am often alone in the flat. There is a massive difference between being depressed and being sad and alone. This is how I feel at the moment. There are times when I feel low and sad but these last for a few hours as opposed to days/weeks/months and I can live with that!

I just post a few little things to get them off my chest and move on…. simples 😀

I had my final talk with the amazing Dr Dhanji on Monday before he goes to Australia (another GP sick of the red tape of the NHS and moving away). He was amazed at my progress and also proud of how far I have come despite the difficult times I have had in the past few months, which a year ago would have destroyed me mentally and sent me spiraling towards sectioning!

I told him exactly how I was feeling about being lonely, to be honest I find admitting I’m lonely harder than talking about depression.

And best of all he said that the time was right for me to stay on the reduced medication as things are going so well. I didn’t have any medication for a week following my OD and all was well, I am back taking the medication though before you panic.


Life is great but would be even better with someone to share the good times with, the fact that I go out on my own shows how well I am doing, but would be much more fun with someone to talk to beside Jack (Daniels)..

Here is a pic taken last week at the local pub..

Moose on a night out

Moose on a night out


Next Friday I head off for a holiday with Brandon and cannot wait to spend some quality time with him away from these four (freshly painted) walls , despite not having spending money (donations are still accepted LOL)

Going to stay with my twin brother and his wife and I am looking forward to it immensely the Isle of Wight here we come!

So if you see a post with negativity or melancholy undertones remember that it’s just me letting off some steam, the reality is that I will feel sad having gone from having a wife and children around to it suddenly being just me and the cats. It wont always be this way and in time things will be better, especially if I can get a grip on this issue of feeling isolated and alone.

I have some good friends, and great virtual friends who I know are a message away but please don’t always be a stranger, my door is always open to friends.

After all a stranger is a friend you have yet to meet….

Today i am off to see a therapist for the first time – gonna be interesting..

And now for some music…


I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I’ve felt so long
(Erase all the pain till it’s gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real
I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong


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