Today started off as a difficult day – I am not working and currently on “the sick” because of my depression and this morning I was woken up by a call from the people who work on behalf on the Job Centre about an appointment to help my job search!.
Firstly I am not searching for a job I am, according to my Dr, “medically unable to work” so why are they ringing me chasing me about looking for work when I am not supposed to be putting myself in stressful situations? There really is nothing more stressful to me than constantly being rejected by employers applying for jobs I can do in my sleep that would make me financially worse off than I am now being on sickness benefits!
The whole benefits system in the UK is so wrong because people like me are worse off in employment than we are being in a job! I worked it out before and would need to be earning in excess of £20k a year to make working worth my while from a financial point of view! Do you know how many jobs there are in my area that are available? especially to someone with depression! who also happens to have been out of work for 2 years (during those 2 years I applied for around 800 jobs!)
Anyways in 2 weeks I have to waste my day attending a work task session aiming at getting me back to work before I am ready. I wish them good luck!
I also made a big decision today and stopped playing mafia wars after 4 years and left my group behind. As much as I love the people in the group I think its time I moved onto something different as a distraction from reality, something that involves not sitting at the PC all day. My Facebook account has changed and now I have one dedicated to friends and family as opposed to game players 90% of who don’t communicate with me. I want to talk to people on a personal level again not have people not want to talk to me because they think I am unapproachable, I really am a nice person from time to time 🙂
Not sure I went about my departure the right way and have upset some people about the way I went about it but it was right for me I didn’t want people to try and talk me out of it and I hope those who are upset with me will forgive me and understand why I did what I did.
So now the question of an outlet, what to do with my newly found free time. Besides the cycling of course! I am starting to think a lot about photography I am so jealous of people who can take pictures that make me think WOW when I look at them. Do I need to invest in a really decent camera? What would I choose as a subject? so many questions and I really do not think I am creative enough for something like that, although maybe my writing should show me that I can be creative. Would love your feedback on this!
The weekend went slow for me and I had a bad day Saturday, I am putting it down to the day being the anniversary of my uncles death as today I feel better. I can feel the old Garry coming back out of the shadows again he just needs more coaxing!