Charlie’s Blog on Depression
I must admit that I have been depressed at times of my life, but I am a schizophrenic and have a chip on my shoulder about people with depression. I am at war, yet at their mercy, because I have loved people that are bipolar or at least suffer from depression.
I know that this is a completely irrational view, and I hate it because really what I want to do is give them a big hug and tell them everything will be okay. But depression does not work like this; it is a vacuous hole in which we are sucked. And there seems to be no escape from the downward spiral.
They say, whoever they are, that there is a fine line between us. So I reach out to you and say help me and I’ll help you. We may be different, but we have at least one similarity: we both suffer.
I hold a mirror up to myself and I see all kinds of terrors in my mind. As someone who is depressed, if you hold a mirror up to yourself you see the same. But remember with balance comes light, and in that light comes form, shape and color. It is these things that will help you to lead a normal life, so I say to you “express yourself” in some way. It is through self-expression that we find catharsis.
I guess what I am trying to say is that we all hurt, but as an outsider to your darkness it hurts me to see you like this. And there seems to be nothing I can do, my helplessness is the seed for my hatred of your condition. I know you have to live with your condition as I have to live with mine, but we have to live with each other’s too. Therefore I suggest that I do not start a war with you, and you smile, because as we all know smiling helps a great deed!
I can’t see that I can say anything more, except that I am thinking of you; I think of you everyday when I find it hard to smile. For I get sad, terribly so, too. But I think that things are going to work out alright for us, I really do. Because life is for living so I reach out to you and say “no, it is time to step out of the darkness and into the light”. Easier said than done I know.
I cannot say anymore, funny I wanted to leave on a high note. I guess we all do, so here we go. No inspiration, it ceases.
Hey, look behind you. Nothing there, well it could be worse, much worse, it could be me smiling inanely and saying “smile your on candid camera”; was that a high note, no just an attempt to make you smile. Did it work? I guess not.
Goodbye for now,