A Liebster Award

Liebster award

my good blogging buddy Madd nominated me for this wonderful award via his blog here and as it has been a while since I have been nominated for anything other than “sexiest depressed moose” (ok I nominated myself), I thought I should accept.

Madd nominated me because, in his words “(I know he likes an award)” but hopefully the real reason was because he thought I deserved it LOL

WHEN NOMINATED, THE FOLLOWING RULES APPLY TO THE NOMINEES:

  1. Post 11 things about yourself.
  2. Answer the 11 questions posed by your nominator.
  3. Choose 11 blogs and link them in your post.  Don’t forget to let them know they’ve been nominated.
  4. Create 11 questions for them to answer.
  5. No tag backs!  We wouldn’t want people to get double nominations.  Too much work for them anyways.

so here goes as I try to find 11 interesting things about me that I havent already shared with you

  1. I like to argue with traffic wardens, even though I no longer have a car! Just the other day I kicked off outside Tesco as they happily slapped tickets on cars parked illegally outside the shop even though they were themselves parked illegally! said the moose to the traffic wardens “I hope you intend to ticket this shit bucket of a car as its parked illegally like all the others” its amazing how quick they can get into a car when they are being confronted! bastards!
  2. I own more pink clothing than Sheryl! yep its true I do love a pink T-shirt despite the fact it makes me look like Mr Blobby when wearing it!
  3. I love 80s movies and can happily sit and watch Karate Kid and Back to the Future trilogies all day long! wax on wax off and all that 😀
  4. I secretly watch Disney films on Disney Cinemagic when the flat is empty – what can I say I’m a big kid at heart!
  5. When I was a child my nan would not let me watch “Masters of the Universe”, the film with Dolph “Ivan Drago” Lundgren in it as she thought I would get nightmares!
  6. I set fire to an abandoned car when I was 8 years old! bad moose bad bad!!
  7. my favourite sandwich as a child was marmite and beetroot! mmmm
  8. I once got my twin brother sent off in a football match as the referee thought he was me 😀
  9. my favourite drink is jack daniels and coke
  10. If I could meet any famous person it would be Robert De Niro or Al Pacino, both amazing actors and real idols to me.
  11. I can fit a whole donut in my mouth and eat it without licking my lips! hey that should be my next vlog post 😀

Here are the 11 questions madd come up with for me to answer

  1. How are you right now?pretty damn good! feeling positive and, despite the IBS playing up, the good cycle is in full swing!
  2. What’s your favourite song/piece of music?  (If you have one)music plays a huge part in my life. There are too many songs to list that I could mention. When I am in a good cycle then I can sing along to anything!
  3. Do you have a favourite country? (Outside of your own)for me I would love to visit America, especially new york for all the mafia sights but all over the states I have friends I would love to visit!
  4. What do you enjoy doing the most?writing this blog, and helping other people
  5. I’m finding this difficult to think of questions, are you?im actually impressed you found as many as this to ask!
  6. Do you prefer inner cities/countryside/beaches/other?as a london boy i am used to inner city life but as I have got older I do wish for a place not so hectic! I would say the beach but with my current weight I would worry about being harpooned if I bent over!
  7. Can you speak another language?when i left school i was fluent in french but that was many moons ago
  8. Are you relieved there are only 3 questions to go?very relieved
  9. Can you think of 3 words (any words) to sum you up?

    amazing super moose!

  10. Would you prefer fame or obscurity?  Or somewhere in between?

    I would love to famous weird huh? or maybe i just want the money and not the fame

  11. Woohoo!  Last question.  Isn’t that great?

    it sure is although you did come up with some good ones!

it says I have to nominate 11 blogs but to be honest I think every single blogger who reads my posts deserves an award!

but a special mention to my twin brother David who started a blog about his stammer which can be found here, i am very proud of him for doing this as it was a huge step for him.

I will revive my moose seal of approval award later this week for some deserving folk! keep an eye it for it!

Thank you again Madd for my award!

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Guest Post – Petula

As a blogger I often go back and read my old posts. The ones that catch my attention the most are about how I feel regarding my physical and mental issues. I’m often surprised by the depth and truth of my emotions and thoughts. Some of that surprise comes from realizing I’ve revealed more to the world (uh, you know, wherever my blog reaches) than I remember and the other part is pure amazement: I can be deep.

In a world where fibromyalgia and Sjogren’s syndrome are in the forefront and multiple myeloma simmers in the background, I have to have some type of sense of humor. Sometimes I think it’s an invisible illness deflection; laugh so no one knows how crushed you feel on the inside. I fight depression and anxiety every day… Although I like to think depression isn’t a part of my life anymore it tends to show up just when I would rather be left alone. It has been awhile since I’ve talked about it without covering it up with pretty, vague words, which is why I answered the inquiry about writing a guest post here at The Depressed Moose. So many people shy away from the topic of depression, but it’s something that needs to be recognized and discussed regularly.

Not only is it cathartic for the sufferer, but it can be revelatory for those on the outside looking in. Sharing how I feel or think or revealing the true essence of the problem doesn’t come without pain and insecurities. There are normally two reactions I get when (if!) people find out about my depression and anxiety treatment: encouraging and ignorant. That is a bit harsh and generalizing, but it’s fairly accurate.

There are those who are supportive, encouraging and pleased that I have shared – some of them finding permission in my words to reveal their own secrets. Then there are the others who give pat responses and feedback: Just choose to be happy, all you have to do is XYZ and so on.

For instance, an old friend of mine said they don’t read my blog very often because – something to the affect of – it’s not up or happy all the time. On one hand I was hurt by those words and on the other I was angered. My blog is called “It’s a woman’s world” and I write about everything that goes on in my world. I pride myself on being down to earth, honest and completely open. My hope is that my words will speak to someone and ultimately help them in their lives and it’s also very liberating for me. (If they were my friend they’d respect and understand that, right? Not try to make my blog/writing into something that is not “me.”) And, friend, if you’d read my blog on a regular basis you’d know there is way more to me than that and I even right about.

Any-who.

My most recent adventure into the deep, dark world of depression and sadness comes and goes on a regular basis right now. Meaning there seems to be a lot of small things that make me sad. There is, however, a good side to this. Uh, that is if “good” is the correct word in this instance. I’m aware of it and I keep trying to figure out exactly what is making me sad. Wait, I know what it is, but I just don’t know the why. And anyone who suffers with depression knows that it’s the why that’s important because that one reason is making everything else horrible. Yup, I’m now sad about everything and if I can’t be left alone then I’m annoyed and angry.

What a combination.

When I come back later to read this post, I hope I am as pleased with it as I am while I write it. I want to feel pleasure in knowing that I was open and honest as well as pleasure in the hope this post touched or helped someone.

I hope you’re that someone.

 

 

Petula is the writer behind the “It’s a woman’s world” (PetulaW.com) blog where she describes herself as “blogger, writer, mom and… uh… woman.” She’s mom to four and granny to one, somewhere in Georgia.

Posts where she talks about depression: http://www.petulaw.com/search?q=depression 

My Name is Garry..

And I have a gambling problem…

There I said it, although it is not really a secret as a few friends know about the problem I have with playing bingo online, especially with my down cycles.

In the past 2 weeks I have spent more than our income and it makes me feel like an arsehole!

anyways please check out my latest vlog!

Guest Post – Shelley

D Day…

It was a normal sort of day, I’d got up after a restless night of new ideas early, well early as is the norm when you live with two five year olds, a husband and a hungry cat.

The children were lively this morning which always makes for an interesting ride. A combination of tiredness and the fact they’d eaten too many sugar puffs. I dressed them, combed their hair and found their shoes while making a mental note to polish them at some point. I didn’t feel anxious but rather a little apprehensive as I drove them to school to deposit them for a day of free babysitting.

Once back in the car, my thoughts turned to the day ahead. My tummy had butterflies, not the little fluttery kind but the kind you see in museum drawers from tropical shores. Today was the day that I was to return to listen to my mental health assessment. My psychologist was a lovely lady but it didn’t stop me wondering what lay ahead as I boarded a train to the big city. In my bag was my packed lunch and large notebook which I had taken to carrying everywhere for my next idea. I had lots of ideas, usually at 4am in the morning and usually that came to nothing.

Once on the train, I sat by where the doors were opening so I could feel the cool air at each station in an attempt to reduce my anxiety. I amused myself by writing people’s life stories in my head as they got on and off the train.
Once in the big city, I made my way up what seemed like endless escalators to emerge into a bright sunny day. The city was extra busy today as the schools were on half term and the incessant chatter of little people was everywhere. It held some attraction for me, especially if I was having a busy head day. I made my way down Bold Street, which amused me as today I felt anything but bold! Glancing at the time on my phone, I realised I was ridiculously early, not my best record but not far off. I’d reserved that honour for a two hour earliness in a car park in Colwyn Bay some months earlier. I was early enough to wander into a cathedral across the road for a few moments of quiet before my appointment. I’d been into the cathedral many times, but it still took my breath away when I looked up at the amazing stained glass windows and quiet yet ginormous open space.

I found a coffee shop and sat for half an hour, enjoying the stillness and quiet in the middle of the big noisy city. All too quickly my time was up, I went into the bathroom and caught sign of my own reflection in the mirror. Would I be different after today? Would I still recognise myself? I came to the conclusion that whatever today held, I would still be me, still hold the same values and beliefs and hopefully people would still love me for that.

To get to this point had been no mean feat, I’d tried over the years to access mental health services but consistently came up against the same barriers, “You can’t be ill cause you’re still in work” “But you seem like such a happy person!” To have to fight for something when you feel least like fighting is the hardest thing. 17 years after I had first presented at my GPs with depression and anxiety I was finally being listened to.

88 Rodney Street was a grand Georgian house and as I walked into the reception area, I was greeted by dark oak panelled walls and chandeliers, in stark contrast to my everyday life!

I didn’t wait long before I was called into room eighteen, a consulting room on the top floor of the building behind a physiotherapist and a back specialist.

I recalled the room from the previous appointment when I had completed all my assessment forms. As I settled into the wing back leather armchair I began to listen to my life contained in 5 sides of A4 paper. It was strange to hear, being reminded of my over reactions to everyday events, my depressive moments, and my times when I had been so low I had thought there was no way out of my black hole. I squirmed a little as it was read out. My psychologist luckily recognised I was having difficulty with the waiting so in an effort to reduce my anxiety, at the end of the first page, she paused and said; “I believe Shelley to be bipolar” She paused after she had said it and asked me what I thought. I expressed my relief at there finally being a word I could associate with and waited for my reaction to her diagnosis. But there wasn’t a reaction. The room was silent, I felt relieved but other than that I was ok.

I wasn’t devastated at being a little bit different to the general populace, I hadn’t fizzled up into a few grains of sand and I was still sat in the same wing back arm chair. The cars outside hadnt paused in response to my diagnosis and the sun was still shining through the Georgian windows. An unbelievable stillness come over me and I think for the first time ever, I felt something that may have been contentment or hope. I continued to listen to my assessment and finally made my way out of room to step back out into the street.

I wandered down the street of Georgian town houses that were once elegant homes. They were almost all consulting rooms that had sprung up in response to our modern illnesses and wondered how I would have been treated years previously.

I was the great grand daughter of a man who had spent 15 years in bed, a man who had gambled away his family’s inheritance on nags and dogs before hiding from the world. He was one of the lucky ones, he had a family who loved him so much they cared for him for fifteen years, while the unlucky ones were sent away to live in secure institutions for the rest of their lives. As I turned a corner, I thanked my lucky stars that I lived in 2013. A time when people were beginning to challenge stigma and discrimination around mental ill health, not that it was anywhere near perfect but it was a good start.

Twelve months previously I had become a volunteer for Time to Change Wales. As an educator I went out to talk to people about my experiences of mental ill health. I had had many different reactions, mostly positive but there were still the odd instance where I would hear the audience discussing the merits of keeping “people like that” in secure medical hospitals.

Who did they mean? People like my great grandad? People like the many thousands of others who overcome mental ill health on a daily basis? People like me?

Two weeks post diagnosis and I still feel incredibly relieved more than anything. I believe people around me have struggled to come to terms with my diagnosis much more than I have. Maybe for a fear of change, fear of the future for them and me. Maybe I’m wrong and my diagnosis hasn’t sunk in yet, but I do firmly believe it is a part of my personality, it’s what makes me, me, and hopefully as I learn to understand it, I can become more confident in my own abilities.

Ultimately I believe that from understanding will come acceptance and at the end of the day if I can look in a mirror and the reflection looking back is me, I’m doing ok. (Well, assuming its a good day!)

Until then, I’ll carry on wearing purple knickers every day, writing a novel a week and embracing my individuality.

Shelley Moorfield

Shelley can be found on twitter here

MARvelous aCHievements (March)

Right here we go! time to stop focusing on the negatives and start banging our own drums and trumpets!

In my infinite wisdom I have declared March to be the month to celebrate our MARvelous aCHievements (see what I did there? genius I tells ya!!)

Time to focus on anything we have achieved in the past – there is nothing too small that we can celebrate. The small things soon snowball into something bigger, yet without that first small success nothing would have happened!

So who is with me on this? lets all talk about our wonderful successes and kick negativity into touch for a while!

To get the ball rolling let me refer you to this time last year…

March 2012 was the month that I was ready to end it all! Window was opened and my feet were on the sill ready to jump.

This post here will remind you of my darkest hour My Point of no return

and now look at me 12 months on

  • I write a blog aimed at helping others
  • I have self published 3 books that have sales in 3 figures
  • People come to me looking for support and guidance
  • over 40 thousand people have read my blog!
  • I have made more new friends this past 12 months than at any time in my life!

thats five things to celebrate and feel proud about! I bet you can come up with some for yourself as well!

how about sharing them on twitter with us all using #MooseMarch and lets have some fun with feeling good about ourselves for a change!