If I Were..

I have seen this “game” on a couple of blogs and thought I would give it a go..

If I were a politician I would be

Firstly I don’t have the ability in me to be a politician, I care too much about other people and I am too honest to be able to look myself in the mirror after a day of bullshitting the public that elected me and screwing them whilst claiming thousands in expenses!

But that being said I would close the borders and stop mass immigration. I would stop the bankers from ruining the countries finances and being rewarded with millions in bonuses and I would remind every other politician that they are meant to serve the people not fuck them on a regular basis!

If I were a pop star I would be

a bed hopping, jack daniels swilling paparazzi dream! heck I’m 34 not 94! now if only i could sing, not that singing appears to be a requirement these days.

If I were a film star I would be

Al Pacino. I am similar to him with my ability to scare people with my sudden switch of temper and loud voice!

If I were in a soap opera I would be

The person women want to have and men want to be like, respected and feared at the same time.

If I were a writer I would be

Spending my time counting piles of money from royalties and movie deals, instead of trying to flog my crappy books now LOL

If I were a book I would be

the kind that you couldn’t put down. A romance novel with a strong masculine hero who saves the day and the girl

If I were a TV show host I would be

A talk show host like Johnathon Ross – near the knuckle but able to get people to open up. The stars would all want to appear on my show. The title would be Moose Meets..

If I were a criminal I would be

As a mafia nut the only answer here would be a mafia family boss!

If I were a religion I would be

I would be a religion that promoted tolerance but actually meant it – one open to all regardless of gender, colour and sexuality. All Hail Moose

If I were a mythical beast I would be

I would be a politician that cared!

If I were a Disney character I would be

I would be Aladdin – the street rat with a heart of gold

If I were a drug I would be

I wouldnt know where to begin here never touched drugs so couldnt really say. But to coin a song “love is the drug” so i would be love! Apparently it’s all you need, if it works for The Beatles it works for me.

If I were an animal I would be

Obviously I would be a moose! As my good friend Cindy once said “strong and graceful but vulnerable in the circle of life”

If I were a piece of food I would be

I would be comfort food, something that makes everything all better. Chocolate, hen i would be a chocolate moose 😀

If I were an illness I would be

Something that is curable, an illness that makes you feel vulnerable but once cured stronger than ever before

If I were a mood I would be

delirium but in a happy had too much sugar kinda way

If I were a holiday resort I would be

i would be vegas! lots of neon, bright lights and strippers and what happens there stays there!

If I were a pattern I would be

i wouldnt be a set pattern, I would be a big dollop on the middle of paper that is then folded in half and spread across the paper, bright colours though to reflect my loud personality

If I were a tree I would be

I am already a tree as people say I’m TREEmendous!

Have a go at this would love to see some answers!

 

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5 comments on “If I Were..

  1. If I were a politician I would be: true to the origins of the Labour movement, socially aware, enabling the less priviledged and ensuring those with much gave to those with little.
    If I were a pop star I would be: one of the few who refuses to pander to the cosmetic demands of the media.
    If I were a film star I would be: Sean Connery’s leading lady… Or Hugh Jackman, I’m not fussy…
    If I were in a soap opera I would be: the Matriarch who knows all that happens and whom everyone goes to for advice.

    If I were a writer I would be: Never accused of not doing my research!

    If I were a book I would be: A favourite novel, read over and over again, or the reference book that everyone refers to.

    If I were a TV show host I would be: Michael Parkinson – with the ability to bring out the stories both funny and emotional without resorting to underhand tactics, emotional blackmail or childish tricks.

    If I were a criminal I would be: Robin Hood!
    If I were a religion I would be: All embracing, all emcompassing and tolerant of all.
    And no doorstep converters!
    If I were a mythical beast I would be: A dragon… and they’re real.

    If I were a Disney character I would be: Goofy. Or Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty, because she’s a dragon.

    If I were a drug I would be: happy pills!

    If I were an animal I would be: a cat. Dragons with fur.

    If I were a piece of food I would be: chocolate of course, how could I be anything else? Worshipped as a god, used as currency, valued above gold and loved by all.

    If I were an illness I would be: something people can see so they know they’re ill, not one of these nasty hidden things that “healthy” people can’t see.

    If I were a mood I would be: calm – or at least, try to be!

    If I were a holiday resort I would be: warm, sunny and interesting.

    If I were a pattern I would be: one of those that look different every time you look at them, that engage the eye and draw you in.

    If I were a tree I would be: A silver birch – graceful, golden, green and supple. I have a feeling that I’m actually a yew – wide trunk, solid roots, wide spreading branches and slightly poisonous….

  2. I’ve worked with a fair few politicians over the years, for various reasons, and reckon most people would be surprised how many of the ones they’ve never heard of are actually perfectly nice people who got into the job to make a difference. Possibly slightly more ambitious than most people, but otherwise just like the rest of us.
    The thing is that unless they have a high profile, or are part of the front benches, most of them don’t actually have much power or influence.

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