So here I stand at a crossroads in my life.
Which direction do I take next?
This is where I need help because I have NO IDEA what to do anymore.
What am I these days? am I still considering myself a writer? I am trying to write a new book but in all honesty I feel like I am wasting my time with a new book if the others are not selling.
I wish I was not so into the stats side of things like this blog and book sales, then I could happily plod away without worrying why people are not reading this blog, or commenting and why books are not selling.
Are the books too expensive? £5.20 is the current price for the paperbacks but out of that I only make £1.20 or so per book so dropping the prices wont help me personally but is it better if they were reduced?
Is it just that people are not really that interested in books on depression, most likely this is the case but as the stats show 1 in 4 people will suffer surely there is a market. Perhaps I am just not very good at marketing and should be bugging more people to spread the word.
I am sick and tired of the constant financial struggles in my life that I feel are holding back my mental well-being. It is hard to focus on getting back to “normal” when all you can think about is “can I eat today because the freezer is getting empty and the kids need to eat first”
The sad reality is that it is going to get a lot worse come April when the universal credits system comes into effect in the UK – as it stands already we are going to be at least £100 a month worse off and that is not taking into account the guaranteed rent increase that will happen next year (also in April) so in all likely hood it is likely to be £200 a month worse off!
We are struggling to survive now as it is so how the hell are we going to cope with the new changes? not the government care as they sit in their homes fiddling expense claims and doing bugger all but make our lives worse while lining their own pockets! That applies to MPs in all parties not just the current government.
Naturally it is changing to benefit everyone, bullshit it is! because a minority of people cheat the system they are forcing everyone back into work, regardless of health issues. As the lady at the job centre told me “the plan is to get everyone off benefits!”
Here is the problem though I struggle with mornings! Everyday I cannot function until I have visited the little boys room at least 4 times! On my good days this is not such a big deal but those days are few and far between. So imagine me starting a new job and spending the best part of the day sitting on the toilet, gonna go down well with new employers isn’t it! That is assuming I can actually manage to get a decent nights sleep before hand to wake up on time before even worrying about public transport as I no longer have a car. Lets also not forget that I will need to have money to pay for the travel expenses to get to and from work for the month in advance you have to work.
Then there is the stress of updating your housing benefit application which basically works like this:
Inform the council you are now in employment
They immediately stop your claim and request 3 months worth of pay slips
you ring them and explain that you have been in the job 5 minutes and therefore have not worked 3 months to give them the pay slips they require
you end up falling behind on the rent
you ring the council again and they do nothing to help – assuming of course than you can get them to answer the bloody phone
or even better they expect you to head down to the offices but you can’t because your working and cannot get any time off
your landlord then tells you that your behind on rent and start sending eviction warnings
said eviction warnings start to make you ill and you end up having time off work because of the stress
you lose job and start back at square one again meanwhile the council refuse to backdate your claim and landlord still on your back
you wait weeks for benefits to start again !
how do I know this? because it has happened to me every time I have gone back to work from being unemployed! EVERY SINGLE TIME!!
Universal credits will hit everybody who claims benefits for more information check here the benefit payments will no longer be weekly all benefits will be grouped together and paid monthly. I struggle with fortnightly payments so monthly will be a nightmare to deal with!
The reality is unless I go back to work I am going to be living in poverty but then I need to be ready to cope with working and at the moment I am nowhere near ready!
Thats why I need to learn to promote my books better to start earning some money from them, or the shop full of awesome moose items or get myself out there to try and raise some money so for once I don’t have to stress about finances and focus on getting back to Garry!
On the plus side it is awesome having the self service checkouts at the tesco express store down the road from me as I pay using my embarrassing collection of copper and silver coins rather than having the person on the till look down their nose at me for pulling out 5p 10p and 20p coins LOL
Image in everything for the moose dontcha know!
I am the poorest materialistic person in the world!