Quiet Moose

You may have noticed the silence from me over the past few days, if you haven’t why not 😀

Truth be told I am having a difficult time dealing with financial issues resulting from my stupid gambling problems. When I went mental a few weeks ago I basically wiped out Sheryl’s overdraft and since then we start every week with a balance of minus £200 and benefits are getting swallowed up trying to play catch up.

As we speak today I got my benefits yesterday and have a grand total of £50 available for the next 2 weeks once all bills were covered (and by all I mean the essentials), food shopping is not an option so we are working our way through whats left in the freezer as the fridge is empty and the cupboards almost bare.

I can cope with most aspects of mental health but the stresses of poverty are dragging me under as usual especially as we approach the dreaded C word period.

I am asking for help in publicising my books to at least try and help me earn a few quid pocket money.

Sometimes I think the only thing keeping me alive is the fact that cremations cost so much money!

I am working hard emotionally to keep a brave face on things and I appreciate all the people who have gone above and beyond trying to support me, one person actually donated some money to me yesterday an unbelievable act that had me in tears at the gesture.

For once I would love to be able to not worry about money and the stresses lack of it brings, after all I am on benefits and we are meant to live the life of a king according to the media! The truth is much different though, sure my rent is paid and for that I am grateful as I have the security of a roof over my head but what about other things in life, should I really have to contemplate disconnecting the internet and my only real lifeline in terms of the outside world? yes its getting that bad!

Without internet access obviously that means no blog and this is such a passion of mine let alone the social interactions I have via Facebook and Twitter.

I am sick of reading about how easy life is for people on benefits would love to see Mps living on what money we receive especially as it is paid fortnightly so your living on fresh air for the week before and the week after you get money because bills and shopping takes it all away soon as you get it. In fact I haven’t done a proper food shop for weeks now but it’s Okay because I am on benefits and therefor extremely well off! IF ONLY

Of course it is easy for people to tell me to find a job but in case your not aware I am too ill to work!

Looking at things to sell to make money and only thing I have of value is my body! any offers?

20 comments on “Quiet Moose

  1. I noticed you weren’t around lovely. Welcome back.

    I’m so sorry you are having such a tough time at the moment – here are a few thoughts for you:

    1. Have you considered contacting one of the debt advice charities? When things got really bad for me (much like you I went a bit hyper and spent a ridiculous amount of money) I contacted CCCS and they were really great and helped me to get some space to get back on my feet.

    2. Re the Internet – don’t forget that there is free Internet in public libraries.

    If you need any help on the debt front give me a shout – I’m pretty well versed.

    Huge hugs xxxx


    • im clearing my debts but as times get tougher im fighting the “credit” urge! internet at libraries not 24/7 and i use mine mostly when libraries are closed – and would mean leaving the flat 😦 im trying to keep on keeping on x


      • I know about the credit urge – keep on fighting it because in the end it only makes things worth. I really think you should consider having a chat with the people at CCCS. It changed my life and they are brilliant.

        Okay – got your point about libraries being closed. I’ll keep on thinking about that one because I don’t want you to go off line. That would be a very bad thing for you and for your readers xxx


  2. Maybe disconnecting the internet would be a good thing because it would help stop your gambling problem. Have you discussed your gambling problem and getting help for it with your doctor/therapist? After all, without the gambling you would probably have enough money for groceries.


  3. Gambling? I missed that one. It seems your friend WeeGee has a good resource for financial help/advice. I say make the call. Whenever I have doubts about something I ask myself, “What’s the worse that can happen?” In this case, you won’t get any poorer. You might end up richer … or at least be able to manage your living expenses better. Budgeting/spending to live within your means is a skill. This is typically what organizations like this are trained to do, once they assist you in getting your head above water.

    As for libraries and public internet, if push comes to shove they are available. Remember all those mornings I spent in Starbucks and the library in Cali doing homework (and, yes, playing MW)? It’s not optimum but it is better than nothing.


  4. You know I feel for you, and CCCS helped me, especially when had borrowed £20000 I couldn’t pay back. These people made me feel good about myself as well. Will carry on thinking of anything else that might help, until thenjust ((hugs)) xx


  5. Pingback: Quiet Moose | Mental Health, Politics and LGBT issues | Scoop.it

  6. Oh, dear 😦 I am so sorry things are hard right now financially. Republicans/Conservatives have B.S. ideas about welfare/benefits income. If they had to live on the amount most on benefits do they’d shut up pretty fast. Are you in the U.S.? It’s lousy there for social services, I hear. People(right wingers) are without compassion and judge, judge and judge some more. You’d think they were all raised in riches, funny thing is a lot aren’t rich! They just don’t have empathy. It’s marginally better in Canada but the same attitudes exist but tend to be voiced less. The amount to live on is not enough to even be able to afford “essentials”. Luckily, I have a parent I stay with but I am well aware how hard it is to live on benefits. The worst part is the malignant judgement passed from many right wingers.
    Sorry, I got off on a bit of a rant. It’s an issue I feel strongly about having a social work education. Hope you will be okay. I am sorry. Christmas bites for me too but I don’t have kids so that’s fortunate for me.


  7. Sorry your struggling, i get that with shopping when im bad. I agree with contacting dept help places. You could talk to your bank too. Apparently they have specialist advisors and could stop your card if certain transactions take place. You could have your 0/h set up s block on gambaling websits and not tell you the passwork?
    Im not sure how friendly you are with your neighbour but one house i lived in we let the people next door use our internet for money towards the bill each month.


  8. Hey Moose… it sounds like there’s some good advice here… I’d look into getting some debt counselling too… I know it’s easier said than done, but it can’t hurt, right?

    …and yeah… I clicked Like… but only to show support 🙂 I don’t like hearing other people’s bad news…


  9. Hey Moose! Sorry you haven’t been feeling well. What is it about gambling that makes your brain “high” or “feel good” while you are doing it? Finding out if you could would be helpful because if you identify it you can try to find other things that will have a similar effect on your mind “feeling good right away” but not cause so many problems like gambling can.

    Glad we found your blog


  10. Sorry you’re having a rough time of it. I don’t have any experience of CCCS, but I’ve done quite a bit of work with National Debtline, who have always been superb. You might want to have a look at this as well – http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/cards/mental-health-guide
    Have you thought about opening another account with a different bank and getting your benefits paid into that instead? That way they won’t be swallowed up in Sheryl’s overdraft. If you say you only want a basic bank account, with no frills, they aren’t allowed to say no.


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