Help…It’s an Emergency…Of Sorts

Before I start I feel I should explain to my friends outside of England that 999 is the number here for the emergency services. Picture me whimpering, anxious and in a bad way as I make a call to 999…

999 Operator : 999 which emergency service do you require?

me: I….I’m not sure which one can help me but I have an emergency!

999:  What is the emergency Sir?

me:  please send someone I am getting desperate!

999:  ok Sir, help will be with you soon, please tell me the emergency so we can help

me:  is this call confidential?

999: yes but I need to know what the emergency is!


999: sorry I think I miss heard you! can you repeat so we can get you help?

me: there are….no..biscuits…in…my flat

999: hangs up!


UPDATE: for my good friends across the pond biscuits = cookies


Apparently this is not considered an emergency! try telling that to me whilst I sit on my knees reaching into every nook and cranny of the cupboards looking for the invisible biscuits.

I think I might go onto Dragon’s Den or The Apprentice with a business proposal of an emergency biscuit courier service where we have a website and a hotline for people to reach out to us in times of desperation and we get them biscuits delivered within a certain time frame.

Naturally we will charge an extortionate fee because after all we are running a business!

20 comments on “Help…It’s an Emergency…Of Sorts

  1. Substitue the words “chocolate” and/or “coffee-flavored ice cream” and I can totally identify with your emergency!! 😀 Surely someone will realize they could make money hand over fist if they’d do this for us!! Hey, you could start that business in your home!! Then you could afford to buy the moose hat AND get the tattoo!! 😀


  2. is biscuits like cookies? charlotte says it’s cookies but in your country.
    when i hear biscuits i see a picture of bread-type rolls in my head, but it still sounds really yummy because they’re warm from the oven and soft and comfy. makes me think of thanksgiving with our grandparents in chicago. they’re really nice. i wish i could live with them all the time but….daddy won’t let us. shhhh, i not supposed to talk about daddy.
    now i want cookies too.
    i liked your pretend dialogue on the phone, it made me smile 🙂


  3. Well, you scared me witless when I saw it on my side bar !!!!
    Don’t do that again ! BAD Moose BAD Moose ❤ 🙂


  4. Although I am so sorry you had a bad day, I wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed reading this! Thank you for putting a smile on my face, and I hope you finally got a hold of some more biscuits 🙂


  5. I have, for some time, been convinced that there is a market for a delivery dessert service… ‘Hello? Is that the Pudding People? I need 3 portions of chocolate gateaux and a packet of Hobnobs please?” It would be invaluable…


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