Today started off as a difficult day – I am not working and currently on “the sick” because of my depression and this morning I was woken up by a call from the people who work on behalf on the Job Centre about an appointment to help my job search!.
Firstly I am not searching for a job I am, according to my Dr, “medically unable to work” so why are they ringing me chasing me about looking for work when I am not supposed to be putting myself in stressful situations? There really is nothing more stressful to me than constantly being rejected by employers applying for jobs I can do in my sleep that would make me financially worse off than I am now being on sickness benefits!
The whole benefits system in the UK is so wrong because people like me are worse off in employment than we are being in a job! I worked it out before and would need to be earning in excess of £20k a year to make working worth my while from a financial point of view! Do you know how many jobs there are in my area that are available? especially to someone with depression! who also happens to have been out of work for 2 years (during those 2 years I applied for around 800 jobs!)
Anyways in 2 weeks I have to waste my day attending a work task session aiming at getting me back to work before I am ready. I wish them good luck!
I also made a big decision today and stopped playing mafia wars after 4 years and left my group behind. As much as I love the people in the group I think its time I moved onto something different as a distraction from reality, something that involves not sitting at the PC all day. My Facebook account has changed and now I have one dedicated to friends and family as opposed to game players 90% of who don’t communicate with me. I want to talk to people on a personal level again not have people not want to talk to me because they think I am unapproachable, I really am a nice person from time to time 🙂
Not sure I went about my departure the right way and have upset some people about the way I went about it but it was right for me I didn’t want people to try and talk me out of it and I hope those who are upset with me will forgive me and understand why I did what I did.
So now the question of an outlet, what to do with my newly found free time. Besides the cycling of course! I am starting to think a lot about photography I am so jealous of people who can take pictures that make me think WOW when I look at them. Do I need to invest in a really decent camera? What would I choose as a subject? so many questions and I really do not think I am creative enough for something like that, although maybe my writing should show me that I can be creative. Would love your feedback on this!
The weekend went slow for me and I had a bad day Saturday, I am putting it down to the day being the anniversary of my uncles death as today I feel better. I can feel the old Garry coming back out of the shadows again he just needs more coaxing!
Garry
you don’t need an expensive camera I went for years with a little point and shot one- there are decent free editing programs out there picassa for one- my advice is to save the original shot AND the edited ones.
If you go to the beginning of THIS blog it shows how I advanced over the years from a simple point and shot to my cannon rebel and even though I got pretty decent at it – I stopped blogging and more are on my profile on fb
http://kimsflowers.blogspot.com/
i love the photos Kim who knew you had talent 😀
exactly who knew not I – but remember you’ll take like 5 pics of the same thing from different angles and you might end up deleting them all – it’s not like the days of film so don’t worry- get a back up memory card for your camera- take it with you everywhere
also if you have questions send my main account a private message or email I can answer through my phone while I’m gone on vacation- we can do a challenge if you want and no I can’t win cause I have more experience – just something to make you do it 🙂
Garry!!! photography is a great outlet for free time, will make you look at the world and things a lot differently…you’ll see beauty in everything!! however, most of the amazing pictures you do see on facebook are taken with cellphones that use Instagram or another app to make them look amazing so dont invest in anything too fancy out of pocket. you dont have to focus on a subject just yet, take all the pics you want and see what grabs you. may be architecture in cool old buildings or the trees in the seasons changing….could be anything. just do what you love when it moves you, you’ll be back in no time this is a great day for you. Congrats on breaking free, but do not lose contact with the people that care about you inside the machine on separate continents. we really do care :)) happy days to you and yours
i wasnt talking about Kims pictures though LOL xo Kim 🙂
:p
Garry your idea of photography as an outlet is a good one. In terms of subjects, what type of photos make you go “wow, wish I did that”. That might a good starting point for a subject. I see you are an Arsnel fan. Are there any football clubs nearby where you could experiment with sports action photography. I wouldn’t invest in a top of the line camera right away. Work with an inexpensive digital camera first and see if this is something you want to get deeper into. Cheers, Anne
You dont have to spend money to start enjoying photography, use what you’ve got!
Get out there, look through the lens and enjoy the change in your perspective that photography can bring 🙂
garry photography is a great thing to do, i only use my phone for most of my photos, and as for a camera i have one but hardly use it look forward to seeing what you take 🙂
I know the economy doesn’t make things easy, but if the time and other things are right people with depression can manage working eventually. In my experience the routine of work has been a lifesaver. All I’m really saying is, don’t let the illness write anything off for you – there is still a life to be had in spite of depression 🙂
In the meantime photography sounds like a fantasitc idea to me – look forward to seeing the output!
i find the routine of work is what causes the stress and depression I like the non regimented hours i keep 🙂
I can relate to both sides of the routine of work. It helps to have something that ‘forces’ you to get up and get going every day. But, if the work is boring or unfulfilling (or too structured in Garry’s case) then it’s almost worse than staying on the couch all day.