When I started writing my blog I didn’t know what to expect from it, was I doing it to help others or to help myself and a few days in I still really don’t know the answer to this. Blogging about your feelings and depression in general can be difficult and a sensitive subject but I am determined to make a good go of it!
What I do know is that it has given me a sense of purpose and fulfillment that I hadn’t felt for a long time. I enjoy writing and see this as some form of therapy for me in getting my feelings and thoughts down not just for the world to see but for me to look back on. I have been waking up early just to see how many views and comments I have had on my posts.
People who care about me are worried what will happen if it start getting abuse, negative comments etc but to be truthful it really wouldn’t bother me. When you spent your childhood being called four-eyes and your adult life being called fatty a little name calling is like water off a ducks back, I learnt long ago people like that are abusive to others to mask their own insecurities.
When writing these blogs I let the pen flow, well in the virtual sense, and don’t think about what i am writing it just comes out naturally which is what I hope makes the subjects that more interesting for you the reader because I am not holding back and just putting my heart into it.
Going back over the posts so far has been a good lesson for me and although some people think I should speak to a professional I am of the view that the only person to help myself is me and the first step is being ready to discuss my feelings which is what I am doing here…. and this is a big step I have taken and thus far is working for me.
Yesterday was a good day for me, Sheryl read my post on here and seeing the smile on her face was priceless, and knowing she was proud of me spurs me on to try a different approach to life. To the extend that I did two things yesterday that shocked me to the core, and those who know me are going to be shocked by this as well.
I didn’t go on Facebook yesterday for the 1st time in years! (well aside from replying to a couple of messages from my phone) and spent the day doing housework so when Sheryl came home from visiting her parents she wouldn’t have to run around like a blue arsed fly trying to restore the place from the destruction caused by “Hurricane Lilybet” or our daughter Elizabeth as she is more commonly known. Yes you read that correct no facebook and did housework!!
So here we are a few days into my blogging “career” and the benefits for me are outweighing any negatives, whilst some people may feel I am being too personal with my content I do feel that depression is a subject that needs more publicity and myth busting as it were. There will be a lot more to come from me on that subject especially on spotting the signs in your partner, family or friends because chances are you will see it before they do!
I hope people are enjoying reading these because I enjoy writing them, my own vanity loves seeing the number of views whilst at the same time wishing more people would come and visit my little site. I refuse to go professional in terms of upgrading the site until 100’s of people visit not just my usual suspects of friends 🙂
Have a great day everyone
Garry “the happy little moose”